sleep tight..

I apologize in advance for all the potty talk... I figure after my bathroom story and signs posted last week, now was a good time (if any) to write this stuff down.. because I definitely want it documented-- offensive or not.

Our bedtime routine is pretty ordinary. We brush teeth, read scriptures, say prayers and tuck the kids in for bed... and if my boys are LUCKY, they get one of Dad's famous (yet always original) sleep stories about Prince Ben (the Brave) Prince Luke (the Loyal) and Prince Zack (the Zealous) who courageously slay the dragon and save their kingdom. And the routine always ends by turning off the light and saying,

"I love you. See you when the sun comes up."

I am not sure why this line stuck, but it's what we've been saying for years. Well, until recently, that is... Aaron has been tucking them into bed lately (because I am usually done by the end of the day and make let him take over the tucking in/story telling routine without me.) I should have known that he would turn a sweet tradition into some type of grotesque laughing fest with the kids. It started a couple of months ago when the boys said, "Goodnight, Dad. See you when the sun comes up." and he replied with, "See you when the sun shines out your butt." What little boy wouldn't crack up over that? Now every night they look forward to Dad tucking them in so he can make up a new line. Luke has started saying, "Good night, Dad. See you when the sun comes up...... now what are you going to say tonight?" And I am totally shocked to report that my husband, (the one who doesn't allow any potty words in our house... the one who grew up saying "farm" instead of "fart" and the one that thinks "stupid" is the the S word) is corrupting my kids just before they lay their innocent heads on their pillows. I asked Ben and Luke to tell me some of the things their Dad has told them at bedtime and they COULD NOT get through this list without busting up. They could barely spit out the words because they were laughing so hard... Here's what they could remember:

See you when you turn into an alien.

See you when your butt burps.

See you when the skunk sprays you.

See you when Utah turns into poo-tah.

See you when an elephant comes out of your butt.

See you when you poop a troll.

See you when your bum is on fire.

Now, I'm sure he's said a few things that didn't mention words that should only be said in the bathroom, but these are the only things my kids remember. The nice and sweet stuff obviously didn't make an impression... How do I get them to clean up their mouths when DADDY is the source-- the original potty mouth? I am at a total loss.. and I have officially been crowned as the boring/unfunny parent. (Which really makes me furious!)

Zack has caught on to the potty talk too.. which isn't much of a surprise. The other day he had gas while sitting at the table. Ben and Luke laughed and said, "Zack, what was that? Was that a duck?" Zack replied with-- "It was my butt crack." What a shock THAT was to hear!! Of course, Ben and Luke thought this was the funniest thing EVER which didn't help the situation. He's already contaminated at 2. I don't know why boys love naughty talk. Do little girls use these words? And do you think it's a just a phase or should I pull out the bar of soap? If I do, Daddy will be the first to suffer the consequences...

But there's no doubt about it-- Aaron knows EXACTLY how to get the kids giggling. He used to make Ben laugh so hard, he would throw up his dinner. I am not kidding... It was disgusting!

Again, sorry about all the "bad" words... especially if they don't jive with your humor.
I will clean up my blog sooner or later...maybe.