call me a potty mouth, if you must

How sad is it that ALL I write about is poop, farts, butts, and the mysterious Captain Winky? I really wish something else would occupy my life, but currently that is the ONLY thing going on in the household with three little boys. Are you ready for another potty story? Picture this:

Zack comes out of the bathroom with his pants on backwards.

I ask him, "Did you go potty?"

He answers, "Nope. I went POOP."

I reply: "Great! Let's run back in and wipe your bum."

He says: "I'm big. I already did it."

Me: "Well, lets go check."

Him: "We don't need to, Mom. Cause there's no more toilet paper!"

Me: "Uh oh. You run in the bathroom and I will get more toilet paper."

Him: "It's okay. I wiped my bum with my DUCKY TOY!" (in the cutest, high-pitched voice possible)

I couldn't help but smile as we went into the bathroom to find his new rubber ducky in the garbage (not a bad place to throw it after it's substituted for toilet paper!) The unfortunate part of this situation is that Ben and Luke were present for the conversation and found it HYSTERICAL. They have been singing, "Rubber Ducky, you're the one..." all morning. What's a mom to do (except document it on her blog?) I really do LOVE the fact that the kid is independent and finds "other resources" when he's in a pickle. But part of me just wishes he wait on the toilet and scream "MOM!" until his face is blue. My other boys were completely helpless in the wiping bum department until... well..... last week, practically.. and that can be frustrating too. I guess I just need to count my blessings and keep the toilet paper stalked.

If you think Zack is the source of the potty talk, think again. At what age do little boys grow out of it? I think the poem that says little boys are made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails is BOGUS. In my house, little boys are made of burps and toots and anything that poops.

I have mentioned before that Ben and Luke constantly write notes back and forth to each other. It's really cute, and it's really annoying because I am always picking up paper scraps around the house.. Because instead of just handing the notes to each other, they hide them or tape them up in a place that the other would think is funny. The object of this game is to get the other to laugh... and let me tell you, high scores have been given to both players. Recently, they have started writing NONSENSE notes because (apparently) when a bunch of words are jumbled together that make no sense at all, it's hilarious. The other day, the boys were hysterically giggling at a certain yellow note (written by Luke...) I figured they had some inside joke and rolled my eyes at them. Later I found this:

(notice the bottom line reads: To BEN POO)

And if if you thought that was "entertaining", check out the back side...

Those swirly things are Luke's attempt at a cursive E..
and I am crossing my fingers that the second line is a bunch of "boo"s and not "BOOB"s...
because it's a little too early to be obsessed with those... (I hope!)

Please tell me that other moms go through this kind of torture. I'm sure it never happened in the house that I grew up in (and heaven forbid my husband's) But that's only because our moms didn't document it. Seriously, though. Is this happening anywhere else or I am just a really bad mother? My boys need someone who will discipline them and not think it's funny. Is there a Super Nanny for manners? Yes. Her name is Mary Poppins and she's booked.