bus remodel, day one.

The roof came OFF the bus today.  Last week, I was thinking about selling it and this week the roof is off.

It's all part of the plan, the first step in the remodel is to raise the roof.  We will add windows and a little height (so that my husband will be able to stand up straight inside.. the ceiling is currently 6 feet high, but not high enough for my 6'3"guy.)

After the roof is back on 20 inches higher, a deck will be built up on top.  It may not seem like the roof and the deck should be priorities, like the FIRST things to happen, but they are really important to me.  We are building a fun-bus and the deck on top is a must have.

It seems like I should be majorly super excited about finally starting the remodel, but I don't feel that way.  Actually, I feel opposite.  I am kind of freaking out and worried I will never be able to sleep again.  Buying the bus was a little risky, but in the back of my mind, I could always sell it.  When I saw the roof coming off, my heart was beating so fast.. and not in a good way.  This is self-induced, what-the-heck-am-getting-myself-into kind of stress.  I'm scared.

Let me paint the picture for you so you can feel my anxiety.  The bus is being remodeled at a construction site about 30 minutes from where we live.  This morning, the owners of the home we are renting were coming to do some repairs and install blinds.  I doubt they expect everything to be in perfect condition, but I wanted to make sure they knew we are trying to take care of their house, so basically I tried to leave it spotless.  Not easy to do with 6 kids who do schoolwork in the morning.  We were ready to get in the car just before lunch time.  I could have made them sandwiches before we left, but that would leave a crumb trail and I didn't have the patience for any crumbs.  So we stopped to get gas, and then ate lunch at subway and then drove down south for day one of the remodel.

We had a film crew at the construction site to get before photos and videos... that puts extra pressure on me to have the kids well groomed and to look presentable myself.  I know I shouldn't worry too much about it (because I DO want the documentation to be as real as possible) but yes, I totally stress about looking like total hillbillies.  I am NOT a fashionista and I won't ever pretend to be, but things like this will keep me up at night.  oh the drama.

So I am there, on site with six kids.  There are power tools and men on top of the bus and a camera man following us around.  The boys are excited to explore, Eden wants to get down and run, too.  Roma has to go potty but the bathrooms are not close.  The crew wants an interview about how/why we bought the bus.  They will be there all week and I ask them if we can do the interviewing part when Aaron can be there, maybe on Saturday... because I am like, really stressed on the first day.  No problem, he says.  Sweet.  My hair needs to be cut and colored anyway..  man, I hope I don't have a heart attack by Saturday.

While the roof is coming off and the boys are watching every bit of the sparks fly, Roma decides to pull her pants down and pee, right there in the rocks.  Man, I really do love the girl for doing everything on her own, but she ended up sitting ON the rocks and still getting pee all over her clothes.  So then I run to the car to grab some wipes and this is when I start to sweat.  I come back to Ro and help her wipe all the rocks and dirt off of her cute bum, and I was wishing the camera crew had it all on film, but secretly so glad they were busying filming elsewhere.

I had a change of clothes for Eden, but not Roma, so it was kind of time to go.  Forty-five minutes on site, and we were done.  I say goodbye to everyone and then buckle the kids back in the car and as I am driving away, I just keep thinking that I am the dumbest person in the world.  WHAT AM I DOING?  Does this mean it's not the right thing to do or am I just being a drama queen?  I cannot decide..  There ARE people who remodel buses, but it's usually a couple without kids.  Or if it's a family project, both the husband and wife are in it together... Why am I doing this again? Aaron and I are definitely united in our marriage, but not on the bus project.  So here I am all alone, not knowing how it's going to turn out.  I absolutely want to turn around, to say nevermind to everyone I've ever talked to and just go back to having a regular boring life.  But it's not possible now.  I am in this all the way and I am totally freaked out.  Is it going to turn out the way I envision?  I have no idea.  All I know is that I have to trust in the process of the unknown and the unknown is totally scary.  There is no peace or excitement about today's events.  There also aren't any pictures or videos, but they will come soon.  If I dare go back to the site with the kids again this week, I will make sure to snap a shot of our metal scraps that used to be a bus.

This is not our bus, but this is what we hope our deck will look like...