life with 6 kids

Hi!

 It's been a while. there is some serious blog transformation happening around here and even though I have intention of posting new material, I am doing a lot of editing and sorting of the old stuff. It's been fun and encouraging. What's going on with the blog and bus? Nothing and lots. A tv show is in the works. So are plans for an eventual documentary, but nothing has started yet and when it does it will be hush until it's not. What I CAN get excited about is a book. I am writing it and it's been fun.  If none of this happens and we end up selling the bus without any renovations or traveling, it will be sad and disappointing, but definitely worth it.  The bus has brought a lot of creative thinking into our lives!

 There are a lot of stressful things going on right now, but nothing I can put into words. Basically we are still lost in a dark world and we've been there for a while. I don't know if God wants us here or if we're doing something wrong or if we are exactly where we need to be, but it's been annoying. I mean, there are always ups and downs in life and this is nothing new, but never in my experience (or in my marriage) have we felt lost for such a long period of time.  We are going on about 2 years now, but one year of intense lost-ness and it seems that no matter where we turn or what we do, the feeling is the same.  Nothing feels right, nothing fits, we feel this urgency to do something else but can't figure out what that else is.  It's bizarre.  If you've felt like this before or you're feeling this way now, I am sorry because it's one of the worst experiences I've ever been through.  It's not fear and it's not depression.  It's a sense that you don't belong where you are.  It's tough to go through with a big family.  I would never want to do it with anyone else but my husband.  He is a rock and I adore him.  He's at the temple tonight because staying home can be hard when you are looking for answers.

One thing I will NOT complain about is my kids.  I can promise you I am not discouraged or depressed or doing anything wrong because if you see my kids, you would know how happy I am at home.  Oh my gosh, I love being a mom and I LOVE being around these amazing people all day.  It's going to sound like I am bragging and that's because I really do not take any credit for it, so I am really just thanking my lucky stars that these kids came into my life.  We are in SUCH a good stage with these little people.  Tonight was a shining example of why they are so amazing..

The BEST big brother on the planet.  We all know it.  

Aaron worked a long day and came home only for a few minutes to grab his bag for the temple.  I worked with the kids in schooling, had a business conference call in the afternoon, took a bubble bath with my girls and was just about to go down for dinner when my friend/therapist texted me and I got caught up on my phone.  I knew my kids were getting hungry so I felt bad to keep them waiting.  When I went downstairs, not only had the kitchen floor been swept and mopped by Zack and Simon, but dinner was being made.  Biscuits were in the oven, Luke was making eggs and orange juice, Ben and Roma were on the bacon and potatoes and the table was set, tablecloth included.  Why were these kids doing this?  Because they were getting hungry.  Not one single child came upstairs to bother me, they just got to work.  When I came down with wet hair, Ben said , "If you want to go out with Dad tonight, you can.  We don't have anything going on here after dinner." As if I was the teenager and he was my parent.  He is so amazing and he inspires the other kids to be polite, helpful, happy and resourceful.  I was floored, but then not really because these kids are just that amazing that this is our life.

Ben was trying to get Eden to look.  He's basically the adult and I sit back and take pictures.  And sometimes I drive them around town.  I am the historian and the chauffeur.  

in her apron.  She didn't get any blisters from cooking bacon tonight which is a significant improvement since last time she tried.  This girl gets back in the saddle.

I took some pictures, ate a few bites and then after dinner I picked up a book because Luke wanted to do dishes and Zack asked if he could give me a foot rub.  I know, you think I am making this up.  And you think they were up to something or they were confused about whether or not this was mother's day, but they are this good.  Moving around this past year has proven to me how good they are but now that we are in our own house, it's been even better.  We are all just so happy to have our own space!  But we also don't think we will stay here for long... Let's not talk about that, though.

just a few minutes ago.  He told me I deserved this because I bought a bus.  I will take it! because buying that bus wasn't easy.  

Let me tell you about the trip to the dentist the other day.  We had a regular 6-month checkup.  I knew nothing about this dentist or staff.  When we pulled up, I parked and looked in the back seat at all of my cute kids faces and said, "I know you guys will all be well behaved, but let's have a little contest.  I am going to be watching to see who is the most friendly with the staff.  Whoever wins gets a reward, I am not sure what it is yet."  That 2 hours in the dentist office might have been the best 2 hours of my life.  I am not joking.  My kids were hilarious... being overly friendly to everyone, asking them their favorite colors, movies, if they had any children.  Telling them all about the haunted house we went to last week.  It was seriously an inside joke we all had with each other and I could not keep from smiling.  I also made them each fill out their OWN paperwork.. Simon and Roma too.  (Their papers were a total mess, but I signed and dated the bottom and told them they could get the correct information off the other sheets.) I am so wishing I had taken a picture of what I handed in, it was awesome.  Eden was a sweetheart and had to see the dentist too because she has a frenulum, meaning the tissue on her top lip is connected to the bottom of her upper gum, in between her front teeth.  I didn't notice this until a couple of months ago (how did I not see this?) but she will need it clipped soon.  The conversation I had with the dentist at the end of our visit was awesome.  He was so impressed with our kids and how much they wanted to talk to him while their mouths were open.  I just smiled and said thank you.  On the way out to the car I told them there was NO possible way I could pick a winner and they were all getting ice cream- pronto.  They thought the friendly competition was a fun game and now I want to play it every time we go anywhere.

getting ice cream after the dentist.  Zero cavities which is such a blessing because we're poor. 

I don't know why my children are so well-behaved or such good friends with each other, but I am going to guess other than being lucky we do two things well.  1) we don't own anything.  Our belongings are at a bare minimum and we are grateful for the little things.  2) we spend a lot of time together.  I think spending time together/homeschooling/simplifying is huge for us.  It's been a magical combination.  I want to get rid of more stuff just from writing this.  And our house is empty.

I spy Luke's eye.  cute, smart, creative Luke made this periscope out of two empty eggnog cartons and two of my make-up mirrors.  He's my favorite brown-eyed boy.

I wasn't sure if I was going to homeschool again this year, even though I've always loved it, I wasn't sure what to do (I am not sure about anything lately) but it's proven again to be the best decision for our family.  This new routine and our new set of classes have been awesome so far.  Tomorrow we will set out for our traditional "forest school" and then meet some friends at a park to play.  And then go to another friends home for Friday night hanging out.  My kids do have great friends here and for that I am thankful.  I have the most amazing group of people surrounding me too and I am trying to get in as much socialization just in case we move somewhere else.  I am not sure if we will, but I need to do all I can just in case.  And I will never regret having friends over for dinner.  We've been in our house for about a month and we've had at least a dozen families over for dinner or dessert.  Maybe more.  I love our house and our ward and the weather.  I am happy and completely lost at the same time.  How bizarre is this?

older picture but the same darling face I see everyday.  I am head over heels over this child. 

Eden.  My sweet baby girl.  She is hands down the best child I have ever seen.  Truly an angel.  She is still nursing.. I've never nursed a baby this long, but there is absolutely no reason to stop.  She is not demanding, loves to cuddle, eats plenty of food during meal times, but she still wants to nurse and I don't see why I should stop.  The other night we had friends over talking about how someone nursed their child until they were 4 years old and later Aaron commented that that might be me.  It made me laugh (hard) and then I explained, "At the end of my life all I want to be able to say is that I've done everything.  I want to do and try everything.  Why not try to relate to every person you meet?  "You nursed your child until they were 4?  Me too!  You had a home birth?  Me too!  You bought a bus and lived in it with 6 kids?  Me too!"  Is there a way to go to prison for just one night without breaking the law?  If so, I would like to try it.  And my kids too.  I think it would be a great learning experience.  This is one reason I don't like commandments or laws.  I just want to try it, just to know how it feels.  Just for fun.

hmm.  I am completely off track and not sure where to go from there..  So some pictures will have to do.

the boy cuzzies on Roma's birthday.  That would be Zack in the all green get-up.  Why did he wear it all day, even to the grocery store and all about the city?  The question really should be WHY NOT?  He's 9 and so happy.  You can literally see him smiling through the morphsuit.  And you know what?  I LOVE seeing other people's reaction to him wearing it.  It's always a smile.  He brightens people's lives by being himself.  

the girly cousins.  Roma is SO lucky to have these sister/cousins in her life.  

Our family at Trafalga on Ro's special day.  She insisted on being in the back with her hands up and she looks adorable, but not really part of our family.  No one will argue that she's the heart of it.

After the family picture, I must add that my husband is the most handsome in all the land.  I am literally crazy about him.  We are so different. So, so different.  and often times I feel so bad that he's married to such a spaz like me, but oh how I love him.  Last week he was particularly busy.  On Roma's birthday (thursday) he took time off in the evening to come with us to the haunted house and celebrate afterward.  On Friday morning he woke the boys up at 4:30 am.  Yes, you read that right.  To do what?  Go bowling... a local bowling alley had free bowling and arcade games from 5-8 am and Aaron wanted to go.  He didn't take any pictures (typical) but they had a great time.  He was home by 7:00 am, dropped the kids off, showered and shaved and then was at his office before 8:00 am to meet with a client.  He worked ALL day without a break.  He's busy.  At 8pm he came home and told me to get shoes on because he was taking me out on a date.  I had already eaten dinner, so I just sat at the restaurant and watched him eat and we chatted about life, but nothing too stressful because that's not allowed on dates.  We talked and I was just overwhelmed with love for this man who puts his family before everything else.  He amazes me.  And he's a great example to our kids about what is important. He lives it everyday and doesn't lecture about anything.  I really believe a good dad makes all of the difference in the family.  Because good moms are everywhere.  Good dads are hard to find (sorry, but in my opinion men could really step it up when it comes to raising children.)

And I don't want to end on that note because it sounds mean.  but it's true.  I want to end this letter by saying that life is SO STRANGE.  I really am trying to learn all that I can through this bizarre experience, but sometimes it's hard.  I go back and forth between trying to make good things happen to just relaxing and going with the flow.  I don't know which one is best but for me, there seems to be no in between.  How do you let life happen to you without taking it by the horns?  And how do you do anything important by going with the flow?  I am not sure.  That is the main struggle I am having right now.  But reading helps.  I love to read.  I also love to write about what I read but I love to read more so it's taking up all my free time.  I try to read a couple of books a week and I know its whats kept me somewhat sane.  Oh, if only I could touch a book and automatically understand exactly what the author intended me to know when they wrote it.  If I could chose a super hero power, that's what it would be.  Not just to read a book with lightening speed, but to connect with the author on a deep, meaningful level.  This is one reason why I don't care for fiction.  I would rather read a biography about the author's life than read a story they made up.  But even more than their life events, I want to know what they are thinking! I get so much fulfillment from non-fiction books.  They are filled with thoughts and ideas and beliefs and I love to know what other people are processing, especially if it's a well thought out idea. I don't have to agree with them, because sometimes not agreeing helps me see how firmly I stand on an issue.  But a book is such an advance thought, it had to have been really important to someone to take the time to write it and publish it. To me, reading is meeting someone and getting right down to business in the first conversation.  Getting to the heart of what people are thinking.  Someday I am going to write a book about everything I think is important.  Until then, you get this random blog post.

Goodnight.  I love you and hope you're doing well. 

Last note-- I didn't say much about SyGuy or upload a good picture of him.  He's adorably 5 and so much fun.  When I ask him to do his daily jobs or show me his homework he happily says, "Sure Cutie Pie!" and it makes my week, every day.  I know all of my kids are my favorite, but he's one of them.  He is a handful but with just the right kind of sweet and sass.  Oh and such a handsome face, he kills me.  He and Roma are keeping us on our toes and it's such a blast.  The end.