positively optimistic

Hi!!!!

It's Tuesday evening and unusual for me to be blogging on a weeknight.  My littles are running around in wet swimsuits and my husband is working on a pinewood derby car with Zack (T-minus 18 hours until show-down.)  I should be helping my kids get in pjs and put them to sleep, but I am pretending to enter the boys' homework scores for the end of the school year.. When in fact, I am scrolling through Pintrest (rare for me) and listening to an audio book by Mindy Kaling (FUN.NY!)  I am not sure if I can add another task to what I am already doing, but I want to try to write a blog post as well.

I want to talk about OPTIMISM and why it's the best way to be.  Don't take offense to this post, just hear me out.

I'm an optimist in all areas of my life, but only recently.  like, in the past 6 months recently.  I've always been a happy person, but I've shied away from labeling myself because I am also REAL and relate-able and I wasn't sure if you could be real and optimistic at the same time.  I am not fake.  I know that life is tough and exhausting and hard.. but I don't really believe that anymore, the negative things about life.  It's all good and here to teach us something, we just take a long time to figure out the lessons.  I am happy in my bones and feel cheerily optimistic about everything.

I embrace positivity wholeheartedly, in every area of my life.  I am far from perfect and I have so many things I need and want to get better at.. namely: eating healthier, having a rockin' body, exercising like a die-hard, going to church with a willing heart, being super wealthy and generous, writing books that become best sellers, waterskiing and snowboarding, running marathons, traveling the world, getting involved in politics, changing the national public education system, etc.  These are realistic goals I have that I haven't accomplished yet, but I am optimistic that I will be able to do it and do it all well.

But I am pretty amazing at everything else.  Far from perfect, but pretty amazing and only getting better.  Two areas that I've always been a complete OPTIMIST in is in parenting and in my relationship with my husband.  I didn't realize until a few months ago that I CREATED wonderful relationships with my kids and my husband.  I thought I just lucked out.  Not to say that their aren't any problems with me and my kids (or disputes between my husband and me) but I am positively optimistic about everything that happens between us.  I know that I am in charge of my life and I have the ability to create the outcome that I want.

So, here's the simplest way to be a become a better parent: Change your thoughts.

STOP thinking negative things about your kids or your role as a parent or how hard it is raise a happy family.  Your thoughts are creating your experience.

So many parents want to know how to change their children's behavior and this is the simplest way to have a happier home.  Stop trying to change your kids and start thinking happier thoughts about them.

For the past few months I have felt inspired and called to become a personal parenting coach..  (one of the craziest decisions during a very busy time in my life.  I stepped into it not sure what I would charge, how it would happen, who my clients would be and it's been amazing for so many reasons..  I look forward to each coaching session and know that there are REAL CHANGES happening in homes and families.  It's so exciting!)

I want to do a long blog post on each of the lessons my clients are learning (and what I have learned along the way too.)  But for now I am going to give only a few examples of how easy it is to change.  Please know that I hold zero judgement towards negative thoughts about parenting.  I get that it's hard and I don't judge you for feeling overwhelmed (I'm an optimist, remember?) but I also have felt inspired to be bold about how hard we make it for ourselves with our own negative thoughts.  Okay, so here is an example of a common complaint I've heard over and over during my coaching sessions.

Client:  My kids are so lazy.  They don't ever help me and I am exhausted trying to motivate them.

Me:  This is a pretty typical thing we deal with, so it would be easy to chalk it up as just what kids do, but that wouldn't help.  This is actually going to help you, so listen up.  ----->  The reason why your kids are lazy is because you tell them they are lazy.  Stop thinking that thought and stop saying it out loud.  You are creating your own reality.  Start thinking better thoughts.  Instead of saying, "My kids don't ever help or listen when they are asked" start thinking and saying "My kids are helpful and listen to me when I ask them to help."  They are exhausted and lazy because you are exhausted and lazy.  Tough to hear, but it's the truth.  When you feel exhaustion (toward parenthood) they will follow your example and start feeling exhaustion just being your child.  (It sounds much more loving when I say it with my soft voice than it does typed out, I promise.)

In life, we get what we ask for.  It's called Karma or the Law of Attraction.  The vibes that you put out into the world come back and show themselves in all areas of your life.  If you are having a hard time parenting, start thinking better thoughts about your role as a parent.  Start getting excited about what you can do with your kids, how you can connect with them, the time you can spend together.  The more positive vibes you put out in the universe, the more it will show up in the behaviors of everyone around you.

Be aware of your thoughts and I challenge you to change them to something with a higher vibration.  If you are saying your life sucks, it will suck.  Pick better thoughts and watch your energy level rise.  You won't automatically start jumping out of bed at 5 am, but you will absolutely start to feel better.  Change your thoughts to something slightly better, something you can believe...  and tell yourself that life is getting better and that you are improving.  Your thoughts and words matter!  They are attracting everything you are getting.

This change for me came after reading Einstein's biography.  I have so much to say about this subject, but the simple understanding I came to after reading everything about Albert Einstein is that he was NOT a genius.  He was as dumb and sluggish and insecure as we are.  And then his thoughts started shifting.  He started to realize that it DIDN'T MATTER what anyone else thought about him.  Teachers, homework, classmates, parents.  Their reflection of him was their own problem.  The only thing he had control over was his own thoughts.  As soon as he allowed himself to push the limits "reality is only a perception" then his reality started to change and he was able to manipulate everything to reflect what he wanted it to be.  We may be getting too deep and magical here, but every successful person had the same key to their own thoughts.  Every successful artist, author, inventor, doctor, every person who has ever changed the world was an optimist, I am convinced of it. Socrates, Muhammad, Isaac Newton, Jesus Christ, Columbus, Aristotle, Louie Pasteur, Nelson Mandella, Helen Keller, Oprah.  You cannot convince me that they weren't optimists.. I know that all creation came only AFTER a thought was created in an optimisits mind. (or evil creation and experiences from pessimism.) Thoughts give power to change the world, for good or ill.

If you don't believe me, just think about it.  And read this plethora of optimistic quotes.

Time to get back to my kids and husband! Hope you have an awakening soon and your life gets gradually better as you make it so.