Gabe's Birth Story

On Saturday January 28th I had taken all of my kids hiking at Calico Basin without Aaron.  The sun had already gone behind the mountains and Eden was pretty tired.  While the big boys hiked all the way to the top, I decided to carry Eden down before we were in trouble.  She ended up falling asleep on me, so here I was ten thousand months pregnant carrying my three year old (who weighs the same as a baby) down steep rocks.  I couldn't see my feet, but I took it slow and waited on the boardwalk for the rest of my kids.  Afterward we met Dad at Bahama Buck's for snowcones and celebrated Ben passing his driver's license permit test.

We got home late and even though I should have been exhausted from my long day, I wasn't.  I was feeling so happy and excited about life.  Aaron and I decided to stay up and watch the Australian Open.  The finale between Rafa and Roger Federer started around midnight and you need to watch a match like this LIVE.  When I laid down in bed after hiking all day, I had zero cramps or contractions.  I was completely relaxed at midnight.  I did NOT think a baby was coming that night.  

The match was so good and it was fun to cuddle up in bed and watch (Aaron had just installed a TV in our room earlier that week.)  Around 2 am I got my first contraction.  It was intense right from the beginning.  I started looking at a clock and realized that they were coming every five minute and they were hard.  At 2:30 am, I tried to trick myself into relaxing and going to sleep.  I don't know why I didn't want labor to FINALLY come, but it really was an inconvenient time.  I would much rather get a good nights sleep and then have a baby in the morning :)  So I closed my eyes and tried to breathe and relax.  But I could only handle about 30 minutes of that.  The contractions were not going away and I had to get on my feet.  I decided to jump in the shower at 3 am.  I needed help breathing through each contraction and hot water helped.  Looking back, this was a really dumb idea because my hair was nice and pretty before the shower... so getting my hair wet and washing all my makeup off just complicated everything.  Once I figured out that the shower was not helping enough, I hopped out.  While I was toweling my hair and breathing every minute or so, I realized I was in TROUBLE and kind of started to panic.  I could feel labor kicking into gear and figured I was probably only 20 minutes away from transitioning.  I wasn't afraid of having a baby or going through a natural birth, but I really didn't want to go to the hospital at this stage. Aaron was 100% watching the tennis match and not paying any attention to me at this point so I got dressed and shouted to my husband, "If you don't get yourself dressed and in the car, I am going to have this baby in the bathroom!"  That got Aaron's attention pretty quick and he hopped out of bed (but still kept watching the tennis match.)

I tried to dry my hair on all fours while Aaron got dressed and threw a bag together.  I was only concentrating on labor while Aaron was taking directions and grabbing what I had already packed.  He threw everything together in about ten minutes and we were in the car.  He switched the tennis match to his phone at this point and I think it was tied in the fourth set (SUCH a hard match for him to not pay attention to!) Right before we walked out to the car, I grabbed his face and said, "I'm really sorry to make you turn that off, but you can't watch it anymore.  I am having a baby here. Hello."

We were only about 5 minutes from the hospital but the drive was THE WORST.  I really think I was in transition or close to it.  I wasn't 100% sure, but by the time Aaron parked I quickly jumped out of the car and threw up all over the parking lot.. (chicken salad sandwiches from my women's conference... that was lunch from the day before, but I guess I didn't have any dinner that night.)  This moment in the parking lot was definitely the climax of my labor.  The next contraction was a 10 out of 10 in pain and no other contraction got up to that pain level again.  Aaron knew things were serious and he started to panic.  We walked a few feet to the labor and delivery entrance and realized it was locked because it was 4 am..  We had to go back to the car and drive to the ER entrance.  Getting back into the car and driving more seemed impossible, but I was concentrating on breathing and felt pretty good.  I knew I was close to delivering, so I was excited.  

I don't remember walking into the ER or how we got up to the labor and delivery floor.  I don't remember the elevator ride, but Aaron tells me I was in a wheel chair, which makes a lot of sense. I couldn't even concentrate on signing my name at the check in desk.  I was totally out of it, swaying back and forth and just breathing to myself.  If people were talking to me, I wasn't answering.  This should have been a sign to the nurses checking me in that something was up... but they were talking quiet and kind of dismissing me as someone who might "think" they are in labor and slowly walking me back to the triage area. 

The charge nurse, head of all of labor and delivery took me back to the triage room.  She was asking questions and Aaron was answering everything.  I was not even responding.  They wanted me to hook up to the monitors in triage and I said there was NO WAY.  I was ready to push and I told them that I transitioned in the parking lot.  I also told them I threw up in the parking lot and asked for something to puke in, just in case.  I ripped off my clothes before getting on the bed or doing anything else.  I was totally naked, in a busy area, and I didn't care one bit.   Aaron and the nurse quickly closed the curtains around me and strapped on a hospital gown..   I remember them snapping things wherever they could because they were embarrassed for me.  I was not worried about being modest (again, another huge sign that labor was serious business.)  They asked me to lay on the bed so they could hook me up and again I said no.  I wanted to push.  So at this point, they got someone else to come in and check me.  It was an asian woman who casually strolled in and said, "I think she might be close to a 6."  I was totally disagreeing and saying there is no way I am only at a 6.  I feel pressure and I want to push.  They disagreed and told me to lay down and get hooked up to the monitor.  

I was pretty defeated because I could tell NO ONE was listening to me.  So I pulled Aaron by the collar and said, "I am not a 6.  I promise you.  I am ready to push this baby out.  I feel so much pressure."  Aaron was calm and responded, "You can't push yet.  They said you're not ready.  Just lay down and relax."  Aaron follows all the rules and we've NEVER had a great labor story together.  He just doesn't listen to me and by baby number 7, I really didn't think I could count on him.  Not that I was frustrated, either, I just knew that he would be wanting to follow the nurses instructions.  So I stopped talking to him and just tried to breathe.

Once the nurses realized that I would NOT lay down on the triage bed, they moved me to a labor and delivery room, but they wanted me to walk because I was only at a six.  I was legitimately afraid that I might have the baby in the hallway.  I had to stop every 30 seconds and lean up against the wall.  I could tell that the charge nurse thought I was being dramatic, but I didn't care.  I was just doing my thing and letting everyone think what they wanted.  I knew what was happening and at this point, I started talking to the baby.  

Once we got in the room, they tried hooking me up to the machines again, but I wouldn't.  I wasn't laying on the bed for anything.  The nurse asked if in an hour or so I wanted an epidural.  I laughed and said, "There is no way I will be pregnant in an hour."  She smiled and said, "well, you better get up on the bed.  We don't want the baby landing on the floor."  She was sarcastic and trying to tell me that she has a lot more experience than I do.  She started to put in my IV while I was standing and swaying against the bed.  I was not holding still and I wanted nothing to do with the IV, but she did it anyway.  When she was finished she said, "I put the IV in, even on a moving target."  And then she told me to get in the bed and they would come back in a while.

At this point, I felt like an animal.  I was pretty sure his head was out, but I needed to find a place to check.  I scanned the room for a safe place.  I remember looking at the sitting chair.  The bed was white and clean and I hadn't laid down yet, but that was the last place I wanted to go.  I told Aaron I was going into the bathroom.  He said to me, "You need to take your IV pole with you."  I looked at him and said, "YOU need to take my IV pole.  What else do you have going on?"  I think I was frustrated with him because he was talking more to the nurses (there were 4 of them in my room at this point.)  I was pretty sure my water broke and I told the nurses before I went into the bathroom.  There wasn't a lot of water on the ground, but one of the nurses wiped it up and said I probably peed my pants... I mean, seriously... this was getting ridiculous.  I walked into the bathroom and Aaron followed me, but only because he was pushing the pole.

As soon as I got into the bathroom and I felt like I had some privacy, I reached down and felt the baby's head.  I knew it and told Aaron, "The head is out."  Aaron's face was SHOCKED and he left my IV pole and ran into the room... but all of the nurses had left so he ran out into the hall and called for help.  I wasn't really worried about what anyone else was doing, I just told the baby that everything was okay and that I could do this.  On the very next contraction, I pushed... it wasn't a hard push, but tons more water came and so did the baby.  I stuck my arms underneath his armpits and pulled him right up to my chest as I used the toilet for support (but I wasn't sitting on it, just standing over it.)  I was SO RELIEVED to have him come so easily... but for the past 20 minutes I was trying NOT to push, so it was just awesome to finally have him out.

When Aaron came back in, he laughed the most genuine, loud, surprised laugh and said, "No WAY!  You delivered the baby alone?"  I was holding the baby and talking to him and I will never forget looking up at Aaron and laughing back at him.  Gabe's eyes were wide open and he was looking around.  I could tell he was perfectly fine.  He was breathing and scanning the room.  People say that the first look at a baby's eyes will give you an indication of their eye color and I was positive he was fair with blue eyes.  He wasn't crying, I think we were just both happy to be done!

Aaron screamed out to the nurses that I delivered the baby and then he came in and tried to help me hold the baby, although it seemed to complicate the process because he was pulling him away from the cord (which was still attached to me.)  Aaron got stuff ALL over his shirt while trying to spank him.  I kept telling him that he was fine and breathing, but I think Aaron wanted to hear him cry.  Then the RUSH of nurses came in.  It was total chaos.  They took the baby away from me and Aaron and cut the cord.  They did kind of a messy job and were trying to clamp it and yank me away and put me up on the bed.  Honestly, this was the most bizarre time of the entire hospital stay.  I think everyone was just acting in shock (and fear that they would get in trouble) that they weren't even aware of how crazy they were acting.  One of the nurses (who minutes before told me that we wouldn't want the baby falling on the floor) was literally pounding her fists into my stomach.  She was pushing so hard and was so upset that I yelled at her and said, "Stop touching me!  The placenta will come on the next contraction.  This is worse than labor."  She apologized but would not stop.  She said, "Im sorry, but we need to make sure you are okay."  After about five minutes, I was really mad and said, "I don't have any medication.  Leave me alone!  Don't you know this is a natural thing?  I don't even think you know what you're doing."  She left the room and I never saw her again.  In fact, NONE of the nurses came back.  Once the baby was under the heater and weighed, every single nurse was gone.  The doctor on the floor came in to check me and I didn't have any tearing, so he made sure the placenta was healthy and he let me sit up again.  He was only in the room for about five minutes.  But then Aaron and I were all alone again.

Aaron was just laughing and speechless.  He kept asking me how I knew what to do, and I told him that I really had about 30-45 minutes to prepare for it, when he only had about 30 seconds to process what was happening.  We were left completely alone with the baby and i was so glad about that.  My OBGYN came in around 6am.  His hair was all over the place and he sat down next to me and said, "What the hell happened?"  I told him my story and he was so mad.  He was livid.  I could hear him asking for my charts and chewing out nurses in the hallway.  I could tell that no one was allowed to come in my room and talk to me.  One of the nurses (the head nurse) apparently got reprimanded pretty severely since she was the one who checked me in and wasn't listening to me when I told her that I needed to push.  

Aaron and I could hear all of the nurses discussing what had happened with each other out in the hall.  They were filling out TONS of paperwork and kept sending in random people (none of the nurses who were in my room earlier) to sign forms.  I told them I wouldn't sign anything until they got me some water and food.  They came in with crackers.  I asked for breakfast around 7 am (Gabe was born at 4:48 am) and I was told that I didn't order breakfast early enough.  I argued and wanted to know how early I had to come in and get on the breakfast list, because 4 am seemed early enough.  Someone finally brought me a cold turkey sandwich from the deli.  

At 9 am, Aaron had gone home to get the kids... I texted my parents and my friend Krista to see if she could come and take photos when the kids arrived.  She was so quick and got there just before Aaron and the kids walked in.  There was no windows or sunlight in our room, but Krista was amazing to adjust the lighting and get great photos.  I am so grateful to her!  (If only I had called her the night before at 2 am!!! I would love to have the birth documented!)

When Aaron and the kids were holding the baby, the hospital administrator came in.  She was there on business.... I know they were already worried we were going to sue after the way things went down.  The administrator was appalled to see that my bathroom hadn't been touched since the delivery.. It was exactly the same 5 hours later (with my kids in the room.)  There was water all over the floor and still blood in the toilet.  She cleaned it up herself and asked why no one was in the room.  I told her that I had to fight for food and that the only time someone came in the room, they asked me to sign paperwork.  She left to figure out who was responsible... but I still had yet to see a nurse.

Aaron, the kids and Krista left after an hour or so and Gabe and I finally got our first nap.  When lunch time approached and I had yet to see ANY nurses or get any food, I was starting to feel annoyed.  I pushed the button and asked if someone could refill my water.  Someone left with my cup but never returned.  The next time someone came in to ask me to sign another stack of papers, I said NO.  I want some water and food... those two things were kind of a priority.  Lunch had already come and gone and I didn't see anyone.  I told them I would like some food and something to drink and they said that the lunch window was already closed... Seriously?  I was still in the labor and delivery room and I think they wanted to transfer me, but couldn't do so unless all of the paperwork got filled out.  But the nurses didn't know what to do because no one was assigned to me and so I was just left alone.  It was all so bizarre.  

Finally around 5 pm, after having a cold sandwich and a few crackers, someone got me a side salad from the cafeteria and a new mug of water (because mine disappeared.)  I was transferred to a new room,  but then I missed the dinner window during the switch. Once I was off of the labor and delivery floor, I got a regular nurse.  And she kept telling me that there was tons of chaos from where I came from and since I wasn't on anyone's list, they couldn't order food for me.  I had my friend Jane bring me something to eat because I was starving.  I seriously didn't want to sue for delivering my own baby, but I was totally annoyed the way they treated me afterward.  I paid more hospital bills for this delivery than any other baby and it was by far the worst service.  But oh well.  I came out with a healthy baby and I was SO GLAD to not have to stay for more than 24 hours.  I would have much rather stayed home and delivered the baby in the bathroom and then taken a nap on my own comfy bed, but I really feel like the experience happened for a reason.  I am not sure why yet, but I do feel like it was meant to be.  

In talking to my OBGYN afterward, he said there were a ton of new training classes at the hospital that took place after Gabe's delivery.  He also told me a hilarious story that happened a couple of weeks later.  There was a mom who came in for her 4th baby.  She was in early labor and had not gotten an epidural yet, but she told the nurses she had to go to the bathroom.  The nurses freaked out, strapped her to the table, put her in stirrups and called the doctor in before she was allowed to push.  And what the doctor said is she pushed out a huge poop right on the table for everyone to admire.  The girl was so embarrassed because she knew she had to go poop and they made her do it on the table, just in case it might be a baby... but her baby wasn't born until 4 hours later.  I know this sounds ridiculous, and it is.  But the doctor told me that's how paranoid the nurses and hospital are being.  It gave us all a good laugh.  That poor girl.  My doctor has told me plenty of times that he's so grateful that I had experience delivering at home and not being medicated.  I am so glad too.  The delivery itself was AMAZING.... so neat to be all alone and have those moments with my baby and husband before all of the chaos.  It will definitely go down as one of my most memorable and favorite life memories.  My best delivery for sure (but also my worst aftermath...)  Life is a rollercoaster, baby!